Invisible Me

Do you ever have those days where you just feel invisible? A day that you could be talking to people and then you realize they aren't listening. Maybe someone speaks over you in order for this realization to take place... maybe you just know.

Most days I have wanted to feel invisible. I have spent most of my life as a wallflower so the idea of being invisible is usually like cuddling up with a soft warm blanket on a cold night. Comfortable. But today it was anything but. My first post commented on my state of restlessness... maybe this is part of that, part of what was previously unnamed. I am shy, easily embarrassed and by no means outspoken but when I speak I would like to know that someone is listening.

I have no goal to ever be the center of attention but sometimes being noticed or appreciated and knowing I have made a difference by my actions would be nice. I am here. I am evolving. And through that change I want to be seen. To be heard. To be felt.

~ And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
–Anaïs Nin ~

I think that is where I am. This pain and restlessness is pushing me to bloom. To want more for myself and to validate the wants I have. So my goal for this coming new year is just that.